I read this in a book called "The Promise No One Wants" by one of our pastors, Joey Bonifacio. "With the greatest breakthrough come the most violent shaking and turbulence... Disorientation, dizziness, loss of direction and even fear and discouragement can occur just before a breakthrough."
I got so encouraged with this book. I realized that God allowed all these shaking in my life because He's preparing me for something better. He wanted me to be ready to receive them. Do I want to go through the shaking all over again? Honestly? Without batting an eyelash, heck, no! I might as well let God shake everything in me now, learn the lessons that goes with it and receive His blessings after, than struggle with all of my strength and go through it all over again until I get His point.
Remember the saying that the tighter you hold on to a wet soap, the more it'll slip from your hand? Same is true with God. The more you hold on to dear life and struggle with His will, the more you'll missed out on His blessings.
It's very clear that what He's telling me is, "Be still and know that I am God..." Psalm 46:10. He's still in control. I have to make a choice. Should I try to protect myself from getting hurt and struggle with what God wants to do in my life or should I let God lead my life no matter how much it hurts? I chose the latter. Is it the easiest way? Certainly not! But it's the ONLY way to my blessings.
This too I know, "Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs" Isaiah 61:7.
I still don't understand a lot of things that's going on in my life, there's still a lot of "why's" in it, but I have learned to let Him lead my way with blindfolds on, believing that at the end of this road is where my treasure is and my joy will be complete. "Dear (Pia), do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed." 1 Peter 4:12,13.